Wife’s responsibilities

wife's responsibilitiesMost couples marry with high expectations for their marriage. Often it is not long before these expectations are replaced with frustration. We may have lost sight of the wife’s responsibilities in marriage.

So what happened?

Well, the two of them did not learn to conduct their personal lives or their marriage according to God’s word.

God has provided specific information for us and direction concerning the purpose of marriage and our complementary responsibilities which includes the wife’s responsibilities. When two people know, accept and fulfill their responsibilities then oneness in the marriage is the result.

What are the wife’s responsibilities?

The New Testament frequently commands the wife to submit, obey or to be in subjection to her husband. This is not very popular in our day. What the Bible is really talking about here is respect. This is a major part of the wife’s responsibilities.

Respect is not just a concept for women. It is a concept for all believers.

In Romans 13:1 the Bible says “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.”

Respect does not mean a wife is to be a slave, or that she should never open her mouth or that she is inferior to her husband.

Jesus Christ was not inferior to Mary and Joseph, and yet the scripture says that as a child “He continued in subject to them” in Luke 2:51.

So we know what respect is not. What is it then?

Scripture indicates that it the wife’s responsibilities includes making herself respectful. Nowhere does it say that a husband should physically force a wife into respecting him.

Consider 1 Peter 3:1 “Wives, in the same way be respectful to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, ”

In Ephesians 5:22 it says respect is to be done “as to the Lord” This indicates that the wife’s responsibilities is a spiritual matter. It must be performed in the power of the Holy Spirit.

This indicates that respect can only be done by women who are being filled with the fullness of God.

Respect is the freedom to be creative under divinely appointed authority.

Respect means that a wife sees herself as a part of her husbands team. She is not an individual going her own way.

She has ideas, opinions, desires, requests and insights and she lovingly makes them known.

But she knows that she is a part of a team and must work together with her husband.

A wife’s primary ministry in her life is her husband. According to scripture the wife was made to fulfill the needs, the lacks, the inadequacies of her husband.

In the wife’s responsibilities she was made to be her husbands unique helper.

This does not mean that everything she does must have a direct connection to her husband. It does mean that she should not do anything that would be harmful to her husband.

How can a wife help her husband?

She can discuss things openly, lovingly and honestly.

She can offer suggestions, advice and corrections in a loving way.

She can maintain a good spiritual life.

She can also show confidence in her husbands decisions. Lack of confidence or strong opposition may cause him to become defensive, over-reactive or indecisive.

If a wife doubts the wisdom of her husband it is tin he wife’s responsibilities to ask questions in a non threatening way, assuming there are facts that she does not know and that he really does want what is best for both of them.

The idea of being Biblically submissive  may not be popular, but I hope you have seen that the common idea of what respect is defined as, is the problem.

When we see what God means by it we can be more free because we become what God intended for us to be.

The wife’s responsibilities are to respect her husband and to be his unique helper.


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