Misconceptions about Love

Misconceptions about LoveIn the world of the 21st century we are very sophisticated in how we look at the world and the issues of life. This has led to misconceptions about love.

History leading to the misconceptions about love

The 1960’s began a time of free love, a maturing so to speak. As the song goes if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.

We decided that the most important thing in life was doing what made us happy.

This ushered in a time of breaking down social barriers and morals throughout society. Christians and their viewpoints were considered backwards and old fashioned. This led to more misconceptions about love.

If two consenting people want to love each then who says it is wrong? This has been taken even further in the last few years. Look at what we see love is on TV and the movies. Love seems to now be whatever makes me happy. This leads to more misconceptions about love.

What is love?

So what is love and is this really what this revolution was about.

One definition of love is “a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction” or “a strong positive emotion of regard and affection.”

Is love an emotion or is there more to it than that?

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 the Bible says that

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”

There seems to be a disconnect between what the bible says and what the world has changed the meaning of love to be. So where is the misconceptions about love rooted?

The Bible infers that love is a choice and not just an emotion.

The world tends to equate love with sex or a strong emotion.

If love never fails then how is it that so many love relationships fail?

I think the answer to the misconceptions about love can be found in how we define love.

If love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, then what is it that most people define as love?

The definition of lust is “a strong sexual desire” or “having a self-absorbed desire for an object, person, or experience.”

This more describes what most people think of when they think of love. Love has been redefined to be the same as lust. It is more about me than about you.

There are so many steps that we have gone through in this redefinition leading to misconceptions about love. But let’s get back to the original definition.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

When we love another person we are patient with them when the wrong us.

We are kind to them even when they are not kind to us.

Envy is the opposite of love. Love is not about me or what I want.

Love is about giving, choosing the good of another over myself.

It is not selfish. It is not about how I feel.

While love does encompass many wonderful feelings, in essence it is a choice. We choose to love someone. We stay with them because we choose to.

We continue to love them because we choose to. Over time the warm butterflies in the stomach feeling goes away, the desire to spend every waking moment in the arms of the one we love wanes.

We choose to stay with them because we choose to love them. We choose to always trust, always hope and always persevere. We choose!

It’s time we pull the blinders off of our eyes and see what we have gotten ourselves into regarding our misconceptions about love. We have redefined our way to lust from love.

We need to take the steps to get back what we have lost to overcome our misconceptions about love. We need to follow the example the Bible has left for us in how to love one another.

Resources for more on love

The Meanings of Love in the Bible

What is true love and how do you know when you have found it?