Biblical Sexuality

biblical sexualityBiblical Sexuality is addressed throughout the bible, but first appears in Genesis 2:24

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

This refers to a broad concept involving the totality of life, not just sex.

Sexual intercourse is more than a physical act; it is a symbol of a spiritual relationship and the expression of complete oneness of two people in married love. It is an act of sharing. It is an act of communion. It is an act of total self giving.

The Bible often describes the marriage act as a man knowing his wife such as in Genesis 4:1

“Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, and said, ‘I have acquired a man from the Lord.’”

Guilt interferes with biblical sexuality

Some couples have sexual problems because of unresolved guilt – we try to ignore our sin. We try to cover it up, but we need to be sure that our sin finds us out. Our conscience is the tool the Holy Spirit uses to reveal our sin to us. We must deal with it or it will cause us problems.

Man’s basic problem is alienation from God. We don’t understand biblical sexuality from God’s perspective.

In Romans 3:10-18 it says:

“As it is written: There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one. Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit. The poison of vipers is on their lips. Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know. There is no fear of God.”

This is spoken about those who do not know God, but can be applied to all of us. We as a people have turned from God and do not know Him. We do not know how to be close to Him or how to love Him.

What is love?

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is the definition of love:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”

Love is a choice more than it is an emotion. We choose to be patient, kind, to trust and to persevere. These are not emotions, but choices. So is the flip side to be rude, self seeking, easily angered and delighting in evil. These are also choices. If we are choosing these it is not love.

The biggest culprit that interferes with biblical sexuality here is self seeking. Our love for God should be a mirror image of our love for our spouse. We must choose to give totally of ourselves in both cases.

Love is giving

In 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 it says

“ But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control”

This is not a command to the husbands to take from your wife, but to give to your wife. Biblical sexuality says that sex must be a total focus of all that you are on your spouse. To satisfy them and only them is your goal.

This is biblical sexuality. Sex with your spouse in a totally giving that far surpasses any experience you could have thinking of only your own pleasure. God designed us to love each other, to care for each other and to please each other. But we must stay within the confines of the marriage bed.

In Proverbs 5:15-19 it says:

“Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer– may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.”

Solomon had a way of describing sex so vividly and colorfully. In this case he is referring to drinking running water as having sex with your wife.

His advice is to never share this with anyone. This is great advice for biblical sexuality.

When you think about it when we look at pornography on the internet we are drinking from someone else’s water supply and not our own. They are in control, not us. They are using us, but we have deceived ourselves into thinking we are using them. Any way you look at it we are on shaky ground.

In Genesis 1:27-28 it says So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them,

“Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

God created us in His own image. Our marriages are to be a reflection of God’s Glory here on earth.

If we follow His design for biblical sexuality we can be that reflection, but we choose our own design instead.

He created us to rule over the earth as He rules over us, but we blew it by wanting what we can’t have. To be equal with God, To be our own gods or to know what we have no need to know, the intimacies with someone other than our spouse all interfere with true biblical sexuality